Gentleness as strength: 3 ways to be highly effective.



There is very little strength in the person that swiftly loses their cool when faced with a difficult situation and turns to brashness in their actions, tone and spirit. In spite of how it might appear, this is actually a display of someone with little self-control and, therefore, someone really quite weak.

Gentle-natured individuals are not to be overlooked or undermined, but, rather, revered.

They tend to be consistent in character, dependable, and sensitive towards the feelings of others. Maintaining a peaceful aura, even amidst chaotic social settings, gentle people draw others to them like flies. Their calm temperament enables them to stay level-headed and remain a positive influence for everyone they interact with.

Do you aspire to develop, or strengthen, this personality trait? Whilst gentleness is, to an extent, a genetic trait, or a consequence of the environment you were raised in and the people that raised you; by being conscientious of our attitude, there’s most certainly strides we can take ourselves to help this element of our characters to flourish.

Gentleness, in this growingly brash and temperamental culture, is, paradoxically, what I believe to be a very necessary upheaval. So, here’s how to support this change in attitude, and help create this change we need to see in the world.

  1. Linger in that moment between Trigger and Response.

Gentle souls aren’t quick to act. They’re far too conscientious for that. Instead of behaving impulsively, retorting angrily or doing something in spite, for instance, they’ll take a pause for thought, to contemplate the consequences of their actions or words. In order to wholly embrace this integral characteristic, here’s a couple behaviours you need to say goodbye to.

  • Letting your sudden emotions drive your actions.
  • Not exercising mental-resilience – letting yourself give in to unhealthy desires.

Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People backs me up in this.

  1. Love whole-heartedly.

In a cold and ruthless world, it can be oh-so easy to, metaphorically, bring out our hedgehog prickles to stop anyone and anything hurting us. We put up this icy, protective mask that, ironically, pushes away others in a way that we wouldn’t want to be pushed away ourselves. It’s a toxic cycle, though of course, sometimes past disappointments, failures and relationships will naturally leave us in a state in which we are afraid of investing more emotional, and physical energy, into something that may or may not work out. Nevertheless, indeed, with gentle being synonymous with kind, a gentle person will acknowledge this risk, and yet gracefully persevere in loving anyway. Without investing oneself in life, you can’t expect to bring your dreams and hopes to fruition.

  1. Listen to your gut.

Here it needs to be clarified. There’s a huge difference between being led by your emotions and simply considering the way you feel about a situation. The first expression is a negative one in that it suggests that to be dictated to by your feelings is to be out of control. To be somewhat irrational. Acknowledging and listening to your gut feeling about a situation can actually be a very sensible idea. A gentle spirit, sincerely and honestly, recognises their emotions as truth, and does not try to smother them beneath a steely guise. If you feel hurt then you feel hurt. Contrary to popular belief, that following your heart is a risky game to play, it’s a positive sign of emotional-intelligence that will, in a lot of instances, lead to an outcome which is better aligned with who you are. Your true calling.


2 thoughts on “Gentleness as strength: 3 ways to be highly effective.

    1. Thanks Addie! Yes it’s a quality I’ve always admired in others, and yet so many people view it as a flaw, and view a gentle person as someone that needs to “toughen up”. But the irony here is that there really is so much power in a gentle spirit. 💗


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